The Fat girl moment

So I know I am not the only one who has these moments. But I just recently had a bad one. My best friend is getting married in august. I thought ok I had a baby 8 mos ago and my body is no where near what I want it to be. I have always been a bigger girl but right now I am the biggest I have ever been. Well anyways she decided since bridesmaid dresses were on sale we should go and get fitted and order ours now. Let me just say I hate shopping right now. I am bigger and not anywhere I was before kids. I really doubt I will ever get back there, but I do want to better myself and body. I have lost 30 lbs but I still want to lose more. So anyways.. I walk in to David's Bridal and her sister and our other friend is there. They are all so thin. we looked around for different dresses that may go with all body types. THEN... the consultant asked for sizes. I hear 2 for me, 4 for me and 2 for me. Then they looked at me.... 16 please. I swear I could hear there jaws drop. I just felt like the elephant in the room. LITERALLY. After all this was done and the dress was decided, all the girls wanted to go over to the mall for shoes. I thought ok. I don't really wear heels because I have kids to run after. They kept picking out these heels that were tall and skinny. HAHA ya right. Plus we are walking on grass. We are going to sink. I mentioned this and I got glared at. Her older sister is super controling. So again she picks out a shoe like i described and I tried them on. Holy crap my foot looked like a busted can of biscuts. It was not working. I think my friend could tell I was having a rough time and suggested we come back another time. I am now going to fully watch what I eat and work out. This was the worst time of my life. I have just felt so horrible about myself ever since. My husband really doesn't understand. I guess I just want to know I am not alone.

Sick Days

I remember vaugley hearing on the news about a flu epidemic. I thought oh we should be ok as we had our flu shots. HA HA... Boy oh boy was I wrong and it hit us hard. First was Devin. He suddenly after dinner was hit with a 103 temp and was snuggely. He had the poopies and pretty lathargic. I gave him a dose of Children's Advil and his temp was gone. The next day was pretty much a repeat. But wednesday he was better but I felt just another day at home would be better then going to school. So during wednesday, I started feeling pretty Ill. I felt very cold and feverish. I took my temp and it was 102. I thought great. I took some nyquil that night and woke up pretty stinkin Ill again. In fact I was so cold I resorted to a hot shower and my electric blanket. The husband stayed home to tend to the kids so I could "rest". Friday came and went. I was still the same and no medicine was helping. But at this point fever was a consistent 102, i had the poopies, throwing up, headache, sore throat, cough, runny nose and body ache. I called the doctor sunday as I was still  not getting better. They said urgent care now! I went in, I honestly don't remember small details. How I drove there I will never know. But I had an x-ray, nebulizer treatment, and sent on my way with meds for a lung infection and bladder infection. Well today monday, I am fever free. Which is nice because I don't feel like I got hit by a truck. But the cough is still here and stronger then ever. I actually barely slept at all last night. But I do feel like the medicine the doctor gave me is doing it's job. With a sad note, the husband started getting sick yesterday. So did my daughter. So it's on it's last leg with those two. Liam has avoided it for now. He may have had it for a day. He slept a lot that day. A 5 hr nap. I actually went and checked on him thinking gosh is he breathing? I just hope that the flu will leave and never return. This stuff is no joke. I am stocking up on some lysol spray and medicines! I hope you all are staying healthy. If not feel better soon.

Sausage pasta Recipe

I love simple cooking recipes . Although I prefer them to be healthy this one is not. LOL You can make it better but it is a bit on the fatty side since it's a pasta dish. But it is one of our favoriets! I am sorry I don't have a picture.

Ok so let's start with what you will need.

1. 1lb of sweet or mild sausage
2. 1 box of penne pasta
3. 1 small container of cream cheese
4. 2 green bell peppers
5. 1 large can of tomato sauce
6. 1 small can of tomato sauce.
7. 1 small bag of shredded mozzarella cheese

Ok here is how to make it.

1. Pre-heat your oven to 350
2. Begin boiling your water for the noodles. I add olive oil to the water as well.
3. Brown your sausage
4. Do not cook your noodles all the way through. Or they will over cook in the oven. I like them to be still hard but not crunchy.
5. Have your cream cheese, tomato sauce and chopped green bell peppers ready.
6. Combine all of your ingredients together and put it in a baking dish.
7. Sprinkle the cheese on top. I usually use the whole bag. But this last time I cut it in half.
8. I bake it for 30 min.

ENJOY!!!

Post Baby Body

After having children I did not expect my body to look the same as it did before. I realized after my first son how unrealstic that was going to be. He flipped in one night and there were so many stretch  marks I cried. After that I never got any new ones with my other pregnancies. But after I had my daughter my gallbladder went bad. I have 4 incisions from that on my abdomen. They are small but still there. On top of the stretch marks it's awful. Well to add to the looks on my stomach after my last son my appendix ruptured. I had to have a large incision above my belly button and one that went across my bikini line. I have this huge purple scar now in the dead middle of my stomach. Right where it is it bulges out to. Why I am not sure. It never did untill I had the surgery. I can't even look at my mid section anymore. I love my children so much.. But this defenitly one thing I did not anticipate being so extreme. Sigh.. How do I get over this hump of obvious life changing looks. My husband loves me no matter what. That's not the problem. I guess I should just say today while at the mall a lady asked me how far along I was. Thats how much my incision pertrudes out. Also because of my surgery I have yet to start working out. Because I had to get it 9 weeks after giving birth. Oh Life gotta love it right?

Meal Planning.

My #1 New Years resolution was to start meal planning. I have only done it 3 weeks now but it took time to really get the hang of things. But every week that I have done it, I have been successful. This not only helps me budget our grocery spending but also help meal stay organized. With 3 kiddos every little bit helps. I did a video on my meal planning. Take a min to watch. Thanks!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9sGzzXrgpA

Done having Kids?

So my husband and I have discussed many many times how many children we wanted. We discussed two was enough for us. HA!! When we got pregnant with our third child Noah we were very scared. Financially we knew it would be a strain. But after about 8 ish weeks we grew to love the idea. We started bringing out the old baby stuff and washing it. Slowly purchased stuff. At 18 weeks we found out it was a boy! We choose the name Noah and were just eager to meet him from that point. At 22 weeks pregnant I found out that he had passed away. We delivered him naturally. We held him, kissed him and then handed him over to the medical staff. A very hard time in our lives. We discussed if we would have another baby and decided another child would be in our future. To our suprise 3 months later we were pregnant again. With our amazing little boy Liam. He has brought so much joy to our lives. In the 7 months he has been here, he just lights up a room.

    Well anyways to get to my point. When I got pregnant with Liam, my husband said that this was it. At the time I guess I really didn't pay any attention to what he was saying. I was busy with our older two and pregnant. I was trying to enjoy my pregnancy as well. SO at the time, I guess i was nieve in what he was saying. At about 3 months post baby I made a comment about 5 years from now when we have another baby. He put the breaks on the conversation and said we are not having any more. I think in that moment my heart dropped. I sat back and just starred at him. In aw of what he said I again shrugged it off and went about my day. I then later was in the shower and just cried. I cried so hard. I can't imagine not having another baby. I always wanted to have a big family. Three kids is a lot and I love each and every one of them. But he honestly does not want any more kids. My heart just aches every time I think of this. I brought it up once more and he basically said he doesn't want more kids because of the financial burdian they are. Also so him and I eventually can be a couple again. I understand his point of view, but I am not sure he has taken my feelings into consideration. At any point I wonder if this will hurt my marriage. I am feeling very depressed over this. Why? Has anyone else felt this way? I just couldn't imagine taking a drastic change and him going in for a vasectamie (sp?). Making a perminant decision like that scares me to death. At this point in my life and in my heart I feel that another baby is for me. I am dropping the subject for now with my husband. But in hopes maybe a few years down the road eaither I will feel different or he will.

Long time no Blog...

Boy time sure has flown by. I haven't written in the blog but once and that was now 3 years ago. Well I figured this would be a perfect time to catch up on things. Dylan and I have been together for 10 years and married 4 of those years. We have three kids now. Devin is 5 years old, Elizabeth is 3 years old and our newest addition is Liam. He is 7 mos old. He was born June 1st at 8lbs and 19.5 inches long. He is an amazing baby. Smiles a lot and is a joy to be around. Yes he does sometimes give me a run for my money as well as the older two. But that's there job. HA! I will add pictures after I write my entry. Anyways, Devin is now in Kindergarten. I can't believe i just wrote that. But he is and he is so smart. The things he tells me he is learning amazes me. I love every minute of it. He also lost his first tooth. In a funny way. Rough housing with his dad. HAHA. Elizabeth is just blooming into her own person. The things she likes and dislikes are intresting to me. The way she explores the world around her is amazing. I love watching there minds at work. As a mother you just sit back sometimes and smile while you watch them learn. She will be in pre K next year. She is very excited. Liam well he grows every day. Just today he showed us he can wave bye bye. I teared up. HA. So sad he is my last baby. I will write another blog post about that another time hehe. 

Anyways that is the small summary of our lives now. I am going to blog way more often. I am so excited to get into this. It's my own virtual Diary. Love it.

As I promised a couple of photos.